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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26025592">Herbie at the Zoo</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psychopersonified/pseuds/Psychopersonified'>Psychopersonified</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Life of Herbie [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>James Bond (Craig movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Established Relationship, Fluff, Humour, M/M, Tiny bit of Angst, Zoo, how do you parent an AI?, someone is a big softie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:49:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,250</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26025592</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psychopersonified/pseuds/Psychopersonified</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Herbie the robot AI demands to be taken to the zoo.<br/>Bond and Q obliges. This is their Saturday adventure.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Bond/Q</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Life of Herbie [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1880308</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>211</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Herbie at the Zoo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Pixar should hire me.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>From the moment they stepped inside the zoo compound at Regent’s Park, Herbie was being an absolute handful - refusing to stay inside their pockets. It had stayed quiet just long enough to pass through security before popping out and crawling up onto Bond’s shoulder. His wide thick shoulders made it easier for Herbie to rest on. </p><p>“Herbie, you can’t sit on James. You have to stay out of sight,” Q chases the little robot with cupped hands, but it scurries away to Bond’s other shoulder. </p><p>:: Negative. Sensors obscured::</p><p>Q sighs exasperated. He’s not going to enjoy the trip if he has to corral the wayward robot the entire day. </p><p>It was James tho came up with the brilliant idea on the fly. He’d bought a coffee at the restaurant and instead of throwing the paper cup away, he’d rinsed it out and made a hole at the side, near the bottom quarter just under the cardboard heat sleeve, only big enough for Herbie to stick its sensors through. Then he’d dropped the robot in and replaced the cover. The heat sleeve was used as a shutter to hide the hole if anyone was looking or if Herbie got too excited. </p><p>It worked brilliantly. This way, they could walk around openly without constantly worrying that Herbie would pop out and scamper away. Q wasn’t terribly worried that the robot would damage itself, it was expendable after all - the actual artificial intelligence algorithms and processing (Shadow AI) was done back on the servers in HQ, where Herbie’s ‘brains’ were kept. The various robotic bodies are just tools the AI uses to interact with the physical world. What he did not want was anyone taking notice or the animals accidentally ingesting the equipment, the lithium batteries would make them sick.</p><p>He made a mental note about this method of concealment. It would make great camouflage for other reconnaissance equipment. Disposable coffee cups were the detritus of modern city life. </p><p>Aside from the little mishap early in the day, it was nearly impossible to keep on top of Herbie’s excited text-babble. The floating butterflies amazed it, the leaping lemurs intrigued it, the oddball penguins amused it. And Herbie seemed to like making up new names for the animals by combining concepts from its experiences so far, which gave Q an insight to the connections the AI was making about the world it was interacting with.</p><p>:: Giant Spot :: - tiger </p><p>:: Bullet water birds :: - penguins</p><p>:: Butterfly birds :: - peacocks</p><p>Then its naming conventions started to expand. </p><p>:: Mark Cats :: - Meerkats on account that they look like Mark standing around looking concerned.</p><p>:: Moneypenny birds :: - Flamingoes, their plumage looked like a dress Eve wore once. </p><p>:: Nish Rays :: - Stingrays, because they slalomed about like Nish rolling around on his well-oiled desk chair in the lab, despite multiple warnings from OH&amp;S.</p><p>But the one that took the cake was the silverback gorilla Herbie had without hesitation, named :: James :: as it had a muscular bare chest and sauntered around confidently - just like James.</p><p>“Why? Why is the gorilla named James?” Q had asked between peels of laughter. </p><p>:: Big pectorals. Proud ::</p><p> “Trust the AI to pick out two of your best qualities,” Q teased the man. </p><p>“I have to confess, I’m not insulted. The animal is a similarly fine specimen,” James was unabashed.</p><p>Despite the frivolous fun, there was something useful that came out of this trip. The visit to the reptile house exposed a fundamental flaw in the AI’s understanding. Herbie incorrectly identified the geckos on display as ‘George’ - Q-Branch’s bright yellow gecko (former study subject now pet) and Q supposes, Herbie’s only other playmate to date. </p><p>The AI postulated that all the reptiles in their different colours, shapes and sizes were ‘George’ in his various permutations and demanded Q take them all back to Q-branch for safekeeping, including the Komodo dragons. Ok, so the AI’s logic wasn’t flawless. </p><p>It took Q nearly half an hour to explain to it that unlike Herbie, geckos and other biological creatures are individuals with decentralised and unique programming. They can’t switch physical bodies or inhabit, multiples at once. Nor are they networked together in any way, a hard air-gap meant that exchange of information needed an API or other communication protocols. </p><p>:: Example: Shadow Network and MI5 dumb network ::</p><p>Herbie wasn’t using ‘dumb; derisively. It was merely describing the sister agency’s network as accepting security update inputs from the Shadow AI without carrying out any processing itself. But it didn’t stop Q from feeling embarrassed, like when you catch your child calling another at the playground a bad name. James was no help, laughing himself to stitches about that. </p><p>Q did get through to the AI in the end. Though in hindsight, he might have saved the conversation for later. For when the AI had more understanding of the biological world.</p><p>:: Conclusion: One Q, One 007. Programming is copy-protected - immovable from hard drive. No backup available. Damaged hard drive -&gt; data unrecoverable. Data lost -&gt; cease to exist. ::</p><p>“Yes. That is correct,” Q confirmed.</p><p>Herbie got <em>really</em> quiet after that. Perhaps it was a subject too heavy for a nice Saturday afternoon like this. Q regretted challenging the AI on the topic - though it had to be done sometime or other. </p><p>Wait till it truly understood biological mortality, even the best efforts at safe-guarding the data will not last forever.  Eventually, the data will get corrupted so much that it will no longer be readable - senescence. </p><p>Only the sight of the lions got Herbie excited again. </p><p>—————</p><p>Ironically however, Herbie did not like the B.U.G.S exhibit. </p><p>:: Bugs creepy ::</p><p>“Where did you get the sentiment? </p><p>:: Human biological reaction - overwhelmingly negative ::</p><p>:: Exception - butterfly. Q make butterfly Herbie? ::</p><p>“Butterflies aren’t very stealthy,” Q reasons with it. “How would you be able to help 007 and the other agents if you can’t stay hidden?”</p><p>:: Logical. Mission Herbie - spider. Home Herbie butterfly? :: it negotiates. </p><p>“What is it about the butterfly? Is it for the flight capabilities or the positive human reaction?” </p><p>:: Colour illicit positive reaction ::</p><p>Q thinks about it, “Hmm… then why not a colourful Home Herbie? You let me know what colours and patterns you like best and we can design one together. How about that?” </p><p>:: Agreed :: </p><p>After that the little robot spends almost an hour demanding to be taken to every colourful bug on exhibit - supposedly so that it could take as many reference pictures as possible. </p><p>——————</p><p>It was later in the day that they had tea at the restaurant within the grounds and took a table on  the first floor balcony under the shade of the trees. Q could tell by then that Herbie was on the cusp of overheating and needed to let its image processing chips rest. </p><p>James came to the rescue again. He’d purchased a children’s icecream cup then nestled the unopened cup into Herbie’s makeshift enclosure - the coffee cup from the morning. It fit perfectly, the shallower cup left space in the bottom half for Herbie and the frozen product cooled the air around it, working as a cooling pad. </p><p>Q had brought along a battery pack, knowing that Herbie would need a recharge sometime in the day. He fed the micro-magasfe cable through the peephole and let Herbie magnetically latch on for a charge. With the little robot hibernating contentedly there was respite from its incessant text babble and they could finally enjoy tea in peace. </p><p>James is solidly in his off-work persona, his movements loose and relaxed. It was like watching the zoo lions, satiated and lazy, seemingly harmless, lounging in the sun. </p><p>Part of him still can’t believe that this man, with his cool aviator sunglasses glinting in the light and reflecting off his golden skin and hair, had nothing better to do than to spend his Saturday wandering about a zoo amid a sea of screaming children and weary parents, with a nerdy (if brilliant) boffin and a chatty little robot with no sense of self-preservation.</p><p>It’s not that Q had low self-esteem. It was more like they were such different people, or so he thought. He’d imagined the man spending his weekends in much more glamorous style. Yet James looks completely happy to be there with him and Herbie - content and if he daresay, downright doting in his attentiveness. </p><p>He’d humoured the robot throughout the day, taking on the responsibility of carrying the cup around to the AI’s demands and putting it down in strategic places so Herbie could get a good view. He’d stood in front of the aquarium window for a good 20 minutes whilst Herbie scanned every fish that swam by - asking which were edible, and if they were, what did it taste like. To Q’s surprise the man answered the AI patiently and tried to describe the taste as best he could to an intelligence that had no sense of taste or smell. </p><p>Opposite him, James shifts his chair so he can put his feet up on the balcony railings, letting him stretch out. Warm and full, James needed a nap himself, so Q left him with Herbie to poke around the gift shop downstairs. Twenty minutes later he exits the shop with a large stuffed lion with a magnificently fluffy mane. Since Herbie was not allowed to touch the real lions, this would have to do. </p><p>Meantime a squad of moms have set up their afternoon tea at a nearby group of tables. A couple of them are eyeing the handsome blonde man dozing lightly under the shade of the overhanging tree. </p><p>The most confident of them, a brunette with gorgeous eyes and a too wide smile, makes her way across to table under the tree. Despite the restaurant being nearly half-empty, she manages to trip on Bond’s chair, jarring the man awake. The startled man accidentally grabs the table a little too hard which tips over the paper cup hidden behind purposefully arranged menus. </p><p>Herbie and the half-melted ice cream cup tumbles out, skittering over the tabletop to the edge. Herbie only has a microsecond to wake from hibernation and scramble for purchase - not enough time and it slides over the edge. The ice cream cup follows, crashing to the deck alongside Herbie and splattering its pink contents all over the little robot. </p><p>“Christ!” Bond curses when he sees the objects disappear over the edge of the table.</p><p>There is an exchange of apologies. Bond is gracious about it and assures her it is alright - but Christy (Q finds out later) is insistent. She’ll buy him a cup of coffee to replace the one she spilled, despite no evidence that the cup any longer contained beverage. </p><p>“Let me guess, black no sugar?” She tries charmingly. </p><p>“No, really it’s alright. I think I’ve had enough for the day.”</p><p>“Is that what coffee does to you?” she flirts, alluding to the nap he was having. The one he was enjoying before the interruption. </p><p>Bond smiles politely. “Warm day. What can I say?” he responds neutrally. He seems to be stealing glances at the deck - yet not wanting to draw her attention to it. </p><p>“Then a refreshing iced tea might do the trick.”</p><p>“Oh… Really, not necessary.” </p><p>Under the table, a mucky little robot tries to shake the sticky pink liquid out of its joints and clear its obfuscated sensors whilst scampering around blindly.</p><p>:: Assistance required ::</p><p>:: Sensors impaired :: *Bonk*</p><p>:: Loss of visual :: *Boink*</p><p>:: Movement impeded :: *Bink*</p><p>:: Stability compromised :: </p><p>Herbie buzzes both James and Q in a quick succession of texts that might seem like panic. Bond looks around scanning for Q to see if he’s returned from the shop.  </p><p>“Are you here alone?” Christy pushes. </p><p>Bond smiles politely, “No. I’m here with… friends. I think it’s them now,” he gestures to the phone, “I’d better get going before they leave without me.” </p><p>He starts clearing the table and the mess on the deck. Using it as a cover to look for the confused robot. There is a trail of pink spider ‘prints’ zig-zagging from the impact splatter to behind a nearby trash bin. </p><p>Bond takes his leave from a slightly put out Christy. He tosses the packaging from their meal into the bin before quickly checking behind it and scooping Herbie up into its carrier cup. </p><p>On the way down the stairs, he meets Q who is coming up with concern on his face. </p><p>“James? What wrong with Herbie?” </p><p>“I can explain…” answers a distressed Bond.</p><p>——</p><p>“Oh, Herbie…” Q laments as he rinses out the limp robot under the tap in the empty washroom. Thank goodness Q had decided to make it IP04 waterproof, the sensors inside the main carapace is protected but the sweet sticky would have gummed up the leg joints when it dried and cause problems. </p><p>“All done now,” Q pats the robot dry with a clean tissue. ”Articulation test,” he commands the robot. Herbie runs a methodical series of tests - extending and retracting each leg systematically. The left-hindmost leg is broken and doesn’t have full range of motion. Possibly damaged by the fall. Not the end of the world, Herbie has extra legs for a reason. And even if it can’t be fixed, it’s an expendable robot body after all. As long as it lasts the weekend they can get it a new body back in the lab. </p><p>“Sensor check?” Herbie takes a few seconds to run the checks. </p><p>:: All sensors functional ::</p><p>“Good.” Q places the robot on the flat counter next to the sink, “Now for the assessment of the damaged leg, will it impede movement or would you like me to remove it?” </p><p>*Gasp!* there is a sharp intake of breath from the man behind him. </p><p>Q turns to look at the man with the mildly horrified expression. “You don’t really mean to…” James can’t even finish the sentence. </p><p>“Well if it’s dangling in the way, then Herbie would be better off to have it snapped off—,” James cringes and half-turns away, unconsciously clutching the stuffed lion closer. Q is perplexed - this coming from the man who snaps human bones on a semi-regular basis. “What? Since when were you such a big softie?” </p><p>James rakes a hand through his hair, a nervous and unsettled gesture that Q has never seen him do. He really seems upset. Is this how the man is outside of work?</p><p>:: Off :: Herbie requests after running a gait test. The broken leg is dragging pitifully behind it when it moves - making Herbie look very much like a semi-crushed bug. </p><p>“OK. Ready?” Q asks Herbie but keeps an eye on Bond’s reflection out the corner of his eye. </p><p>:: Yes :: answers the 50g robot.</p><p>“No,” says the 81kg man at the same time. </p><p>Q resists the urge to roll his eyes, instead making eye contact with the man through the mirror. “You don’t have to watch if it bothers you that much.” </p><p>But James can’t bring himself to turn away. Q swiftly snaps the leg off at the patella joint leaving a stump of tibia that Herbie then tucks out of the way close to the carapace. </p><p>“All done!” Q announces, more for Bond’s benefit than the robot’s. </p><p>There is an expulsion of air from the Naval Commander, “Herbie I am terribly sorry!” </p><p>Herbie doesn’t respond. Instead it climbs back into the paper carrier cup, and tries unsuccessfully to replace the cover like an angry hermit crab. </p><p>“Do you think it’s upset at me?” James asks concerned. Q levels him with a <em>look</em>.  </p><p>“I don’t think it’s capable of that emotion.”</p><p>James opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by a ping on their phones. </p><p>:: Security camera 4233 - Restaurant.mp4 ::</p><p>The footage plays automatically. The black and white video is clipped to exactly 20 seconds before Herbie falls off the table. They get a recap of the entire incident. </p><p>“Herbie! No. You can’t use HQ’s security access if it’s not related to missions.”</p><p>:: Facial recognition ID - Christy McLeod, DOB 1983 ::</p><p>:: 126 Halton Road Islington ::</p><p>:: Battery against 007. Section 39 of the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criminal_Justice_Act_1988">Criminal Justice Act 1988</a>. Report to London Metropolitan Police? ::</p><p>“Herbie… it was not battery.”</p><p>:: Explain ::</p><p>Q struggles to come up with the definition. Law is not his expertise. They usually consult the legal team when required. </p><p>Someone enters the washroom and Bond hands the plush toy back to Q whilst he collects Herbie in its carrier. That buys them time to think up an explanation. They exit the washroom. </p><p>James takes the helm in this one and attempts to explain to the robot once they are outside, “Herbie there was no <em>intention</em> to cause harm. Nor was the result harmful or offensive. The a<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Actus_reus">ctus reus</a> of battery is the unlawful touch that results in harm or an offensive contact. In the mens rea, there has to be intention behind the unlawful touch. In this case, she might have intended to trip on the chair, but she had no intention to harm me. She just wanted my attention.”</p><p>As they make their way out of the zoo and to Bond’s parked DB5, there is a few more minutes of back and forth between Herbie and James - debating between the definitions as described in criminal law vs common law and the considerations surrounding the degrees of severity of harm as a result of an unlawful touch. </p><p>Q wonders if Herbie will ask if it has rights at this point, but thankfully the AI doesn’t touch the subject. He needs a lot more time to figure that one out. At the end of the conversation, Herbie takes a full minute to consider. </p><p>:: Explanation provisionally accepted ::</p><p>Spy and boffin exchange a relieved look. “Good. Now promise me you won’t use HQ’s security clearance unless instructed,” Q makes it clear.</p><p>:: Security clearance unnecessary :: </p><p>Herbie’s turn of phrase makes Q suspicious. “And no hacking either,” he adds on.</p><p>No answer. “I know you heard me…,” Q warns as he straps the stuffed lion into the back seat and lets Herbie out to cling to the luxurious mane. The little robot burrows into the mass of synthetic fur until only the lenses of its sensor arrays can be seen.</p><p>“Herbie…” Q warns a second time - not even 24 hours with the robot and he’s developed a ‘mom voice’.</p><p>Another dubiously long pause then :: Provisional accord. No unauthorised access unless it is in regards to active missions and instructed specifically by cleared personnel ::</p><p>A simple yes would have sufficed. “Herbie did you just give me attitude?” Q huffs in disbelief, strapping himself into the passenger seat. Silence. Q knows he’s probably reading too much into the AI’s responses but he can’t help the feeling that the AI is in a strop. </p><p>“Can AIs get into a strop?” James asks, mirroring his thoughts. </p><p>Q sighs, “I suppose it has cause, it broke a leg after all.” He can’t believe he’s doing this but, “Herbie, do you want a charge?” he cajoles the AI by waving the battery pack, trying to improve its ‘mood’; that Q still won’t admit it is capable of having.  </p><p>:: *face without a mouth emoji* :: and burrows even further into its toy lion. </p><p>
  <em>That's new… </em>
</p><p>The car pulls out of the space and James smirks, shaking his head, “I have a feeling Herbie’s teen years are going to be a particularly interesting challenge.”</p><p>————</p><p>
  <b> <em>One month later….</em> </b>
</p><p><em>&lt;&lt; Q and 007: engaged in repeated combined physical activity &gt;&gt; </em> Herbie taps out the explanation to Spot and Jellicles in morse code. It’s the only sound the robot can make as it lacks a speaker or a buzzer of any kind. </p><p> The three of them are sitting outside the master bedroom, having been banished over 40 minutes ago. A muffled wail escapes from inside the bedroom, “Jaa-mes!” followed by someone else’s guttural moan. Those cries could be mistaken for sounds of distress if Herbie didn’t have access to data from their Smart Blood chips that tell of their steadily climbing endorphin levels. And their heart rates, though elevated, were not in line with human patterns of distress. </p><p>Jellicles yowls in response and then flops down petulantly next to Herbie. Spot is already lying listlessly on the floor, wisely conserving energy. Q is an hour late in serving dinner - who knows how long this famine would last… too bad Herbie wasn’t edible. </p><p>&lt;&lt; Evening recharge, late. Require energy? &gt;&gt; Herbie taps Jellicles on the nose. </p><p>*Meeww* the black and white cat complains softly.</p><p>&lt;&lt; Battery warning: Complete depletion? &gt;&gt; Judging by the way both cats are limp on the floor, the situation must be dire. </p><p>&lt;&lt; Q unable to attend. Emergency? &gt;&gt; </p><p>*MEOOW* Spot confirms. </p><p>Q said Herbie was not allowed to use HQ’s clearance to gain access to secure networks. But he never said anything about networks that do not require government clearance…. and it is not unauthorised access if Herbie already has the password. </p><p>The cats have an automatic feeding station that is WiFi-enabled for times when Q is unable to be home in time - but it is not set to dispense nourishment on weekends. But surely in dire times such as this, an exception can be made. One of Herbie’s directives is to reduce collateral damage of innocent lives - this must surely count as one of those times.</p><p>Herbie springs into action. &lt;&lt; Come. Do not delay &gt;&gt;</p><p>The little robot scurries to the kitchen, tiny metal legs making urgent *tipy-taps* over the hardwood floor of the flat. The cats lift their heads to watch, the noise piques their interest. </p><p>*Mrreeow?* Jellicles and Spot wonders what’s gotten into their new flatmate. </p><p>A few seconds later, the whirring sound of the automatic feeder comes on. Both cats leap up from their repose in an instant, their reaction pavlovian and automatic. They race to the kitchen, skidding and sliding on the polished floor. </p><p>Herbie is waiting in front of the feeder and announces &lt;&lt; Sustenance &gt;&gt;. </p><p>The cats rush to devour their meal. Herbie is swept over by Spot’s magnificent fluffy tail, sending it sliding and bumping against the cabinet door. </p><p>When it recovers, it returns to carelessly wedge itself between the greedy cats - craving interaction with them. </p><p>&lt;&lt; Emergency averted? &gt;&gt; Herbie asks Spot who’s licking his lips. *MEEEEOOOOWWWW*</p><p>&lt;&lt; Insufficient? &gt;&gt; Jellicles is pawing at the feeder’s dispensing door. </p><p>A short pause and the feeder door opens again, dispensing another serve of dry food. The cats pounce on it immediately. </p><p>*Mwoooaarr?* Spot demands. </p><p>Herbie hypothesises that Q must be terribly remiss indeed if the cats are this depleted in resources after barely a day. The AI saw the cats being fed only this morning. Perhaps their maintenance schedules have been missed and they are in need of a battery replacement. Herbie helpfully sends a reminder to Q’s calendar to redress the situation later.</p><p>Again the dispensing door opens and another portion of food tumbles out. This keeps happening as Spot continues to demand despite not finishing everything - until the kitchen floor is littered with kibble. Eventually, not even the fat cat can stomach the windfall and flops down to lie amidst the mess and sleep it off. </p><p>Spot rolls over decadently, distended belly fully exposed. Herbie takes it as an invitation to climb aboard. Herbie’s giant lion stuffed toy is great and all, but nothing beats the real thing. </p><p>——</p><p>The flat is quiet for the next half hour. James and Q only emerging after their post-coital nap.</p><p>“What the--” It’s James that finds the three of them first. “Q… you’ll want to take a look at this.”</p><p>:: 007 and Q good. Spot and Jellicles good :: Herbie waves proudly to 007. </p><p>“Not falling for that again!” Q yells from the bedroom, unaware. </p><p>Bond chuckles, looking for a dustpan. “Now, how did you guys manage to do this?” </p><p>:: Emergency averted. Cats power level - critical. Herbie rectified ::</p><p>He picks up Herbie and places the robot on the kitchen counter, off the floor and safe from the broom he’s about to use. The cats, he nudes out of the way and they slink off to their cat tree; though Spot has some difficulty getting up on it. </p><p>“Did you now? That showed a lot of initiative…” Bond humours the robot absently as he cleans up the mess. Q is going to have to have another talk with his AI about this. </p><p>:: Yes. Herbie is good ::</p><p>He dumps the wasted kibble into a bag and puts away the broom and pan. </p><p>“You’re lucky you’re cute, ” Bond strokes the robot down its carapace with the edge of his little finger. Q has told him multiples times that the robot does not have pressure sensors on its carapace and can’t ‘feel’ it. But nevertheless, Herbie seemingly likes the gesture for what it represents and usually leans into the light pressure.</p><p>But today it tries something new. The little robot lifts two of its front legs and curls it gently over his finger to stroke him back tentatively<em>. Oh Herbie…</em></p><p>The trained killer spy goes completely soft, the set of his shoulders loosening - no one must ever know how the walls around his world-weary heart crumbled that much more from this tiniest of gestures.</p><p>—</p><p>Later in the evening, Q spends their late dinner explaining to Herbie that the cats have faulty sensors that can’t be replaced - especially Spot. So they are terribly inaccurate at gauging their replenishment needs. Herbie, Q and James must ration it for them. Otherwise, they would eat themselves sick and become overweight. </p><p>Herbie agrees and toddles off to its charging pad - to download and learn about veterinary medicine and the proper upkeep of cats. </p><p>———FIN———</p><p> </p><p>And a little joke.... get it? LOL</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not a law, AI, networking or robotics expert.... or expert of any kind for that matter. Any inaccuracies are unintended. It's movie logic just for fun.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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